These days, I can read the book ‘The Drama of the Gifted Child and the Search for the True Self’ by Alice Miller and Bollati Boringhieri editions.
The text emphasises the unrecognised needs of the child, from serious violations to more subtle but no less violent denials and mockery. The book presents attitudes that deny the natural development of the child’s self. To avoid losing (ignorant) love, his only security in life, the child adapts to inappropriate sentences, reproaches, humiliates, and inhibits parts of himself.
I increasingly realise that the family context is our primary evolutionary field, even when we have parents who do everything for our good. But who knows what is good for a ‘soul on a journey’? Beyond practical matters of ordinary importance, the kind of good that can evolve who we are is not taught to everyone. The circle is still tiny, so we receive in proportion to what mom and dad received in their experience as children, loved ignorantly.
This brings us to having mothers and fathers to honour, which is an interesting verb. In some cases, love is too much to ask, although the hardest lessons to learn are those that, when integrated, broaden our hearts and consciences.
Honouring does not involve reverence, esteem, or respect. It is a declaration of independence, which, at a certain existential level, relates the two hemispheres—father and Mother, Sun and Moon—generating coherence between analytical thought and intuition.
Honouring the Father and Mother is a flight on outstretched wings, allowing us to see from above the entire design of the sufferings that have become part of our lives as if they were intrinsic and purposeful necessities, practical for implementing our evolutionary process. Due to human nature, one cannot develop much in joy alone.
Those who remain “grounded” in the role of a child, despite adult age, take root instead of flying and continue to fixate on (and perpetuate) a portion of their design without receiving that blessing which designates us, propelling us towards other roles and aspects of ourselves… a blessing that arrives as an expansion of consciousness to be able to say to those who brought us into the world:
– “I honour you, even for this unhappy and burdensome role that you have/have had in my existence. Thanks to this, I have understood that… and I can continue my life without this existential conditioning program. I free myself with an act of will and self-love. A wise love, very different from the ignorant love received, despite ourselves.”
An act of freedom that can also become a life experience for parents… with the necessary introspection.
Wise love is that vital, expansive force that emanates from itself and returns to itself, amplified.
Some call it Christ, others the Primary Cosmic Blue Ray, and others still self-love, like the one that suggests loving your neighbour as yourself—a good start.
The end, known as enlightenment, Mount of Transfiguration, or cosmic connection, accompanies the vision in an extraordinary, dilated, superconscious understanding. Thanks to this, the mind grasps the Design, in which one’s design is no longer self-serving but aligned and inserted into the One Life, from which everything flows and returns with supreme and wise Love.